The Case for Being Unreasonably Helpful

Three years ago a guy called me about a commercial property in Overland Park. He was not a serious buyer. He was early in his search, had no broker, and was mostly just kicking tires. Most agents would have spent five minutes on the phone and moved on.

I spent an hour. Walked him through the market. Explained cap rates, lease structures, what to watch for in that submarket. Sent him three properties that fit his criteria with my notes on each one. None of it was going to pay me that month.

Fourteen months later he called me back. He was ready to buy. He did not call anyone else. That deal closed for $2.1 million.

Why “Just Enough” Is Never Enough

There is a version of business advice that says you should protect your time ruthlessly. Only spend energy on qualified leads. Guard your expertise. Make people pay for your knowledge.

I get it. Time is finite. But that advice misses something important.

People remember how you made them feel long after they forget what you told them. When you are unreasonably helpful, when you go so far beyond what is expected that it surprises people, you create a memory. That memory becomes a story they tell other people. And stories travel further than any ad you could run.

The agent who gave me five minutes? I do not remember his name. The mentor who spent two hours helping me understand 1031 exchanges when I was 24 and had zero to offer him in return? I have sent him six referrals in the last three years. Real ones that closed.

Compounding Trust Is Real

We all understand compound interest in finance. Put money in, leave it alone, watch it grow. But the same math applies to relationships, and almost nobody treats it that way.

Every act of unreasonable helpfulness is a deposit into a trust account. You do not see the returns immediately. Sometimes you do not see them for years. But they are accruing.

A friend of mine runs a SaaS company in Kansas City. When he was starting out, he offered free onboarding calls to anyone who signed up. Not the 15 minute kind. Full hour-long sessions where he personally set up their account and taught them the product. His competitors thought he was insane.

He kept it up for 18 months. By the end, his churn rate was half the industry average and his NPS score was through the roof. Not because his product was dramatically better. Because his customers felt taken care of. They stayed. They referred friends. The math worked out spectacularly.

The Kindness Arbitrage

Here is what I think most people miss. In a world where everyone is optimizing for efficiency and automating their customer interactions, genuine human generosity has become rare. And rare things are valuable.

Being unreasonably helpful is an arbitrage opportunity. The cost to you is relatively low, an extra hour here, a thoughtful email there. But the perceived value to the recipient is enormous, because almost nobody does it anymore.

I make it a habit to send one unsolicited helpful thing per week. A relevant article to someone I know is working on a problem. An introduction between two people who should know each other. A text to someone I haven’t talked to in months just saying “hey, saw this and thought of you.”

None of that takes more than ten minutes. But it keeps my name in circulation in a way that feels natural, not salesy. People start saying “you should talk to Grayson” without me ever asking them to.

Where People Get This Wrong

Being unreasonably helpful is not the same as being a pushover.

There is a crucial difference. Helpful means giving freely when you can. Pushover means saying yes to things that drain you because you cannot say no. One builds trust. The other builds resentment.

I say no to plenty of things. I have boundaries around my time. But within the space where I choose to engage, I go all in. That distinction matters.

The other mistake is keeping score. The second you start tracking who owes you what, you have poisoned the well. Generosity with strings attached is not generosity. People can feel the difference immediately.

Give because you genuinely want to help. The returns will come. They always do. But they come on their own timeline, not yours.

The Long Game

I am playing a 30 year game in commercial real estate. Not a 30 day game. When I think in decades, being unreasonably helpful is obviously the right strategy. The relationships I build today will generate deals I cannot even imagine yet.

But honestly, even if the math did not work out, I think I would still do it. Being generous with your time and knowledge just feels better than being guarded. It makes the work more human. It makes the days more interesting.

And in a business world that is increasingly automated and transactional, being the person who actually cares might be the biggest competitive advantage there is.